I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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