just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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