i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
