she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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