I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
