Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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