Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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