The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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