I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
