a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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