i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
