Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
