she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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