You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
