HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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