Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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