I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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