If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize