I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
