Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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