First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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