i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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