I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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