i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
