If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize