We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
