is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I could fuck to npr.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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