It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
