so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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