Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize