please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
