Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
