he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
this hospital has no fireball
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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