i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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