fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
