Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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