**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
