Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
