He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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