i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the condom got lost in my hair
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
