Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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