Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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