Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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