omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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