oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you traded sex for a burrito?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
