She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
