My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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