Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
