You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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