So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
