I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think i have herpe
just one?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
