Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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