every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The Olympian is in my bed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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