she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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