i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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