we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the day after is always just damage control
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
