she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
