Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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