I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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