I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My vagina is officially offended.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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