he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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