She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
